Language isn’t just for communicating with others — it is also how we communicate to ourselves. Are you mindful of the words you use? They hold more power than you know as they can pull your attention, direct your thoughts and emotions, and program your mind and perspective on life.

Language Auto-Pilot

Language is a tool that has allowed us to express ourselves in innumerable ways. It is our primary means of social communication, and most likely the primary way you think to yourself as well. Because of this, we are never not communicating. Everything we say, think, and hear is internalized.

Studies show that emotionally charged words affect our attention. Can you guess which emotion affects us the most? Hint: It’s not positive.

That’s right, words that are perceived to be negative take more of our attention than positive words do. Let’s learn how the words we use make our life sentence positive or negative, and how we can take control.

Positive Bias & Consequences

The more frequent a word, the less information it contains. The less frequent a word, the more information it contains. Studies show that as a word becomes more frequent, the amount of information it carries decreases.

Studies also show that we have a bias to use positive words for socializing. This phenomena, aptly called the Positive Bias, pushes positive words to be used more frequently for politeness and civility, rather than the information they convey. A habit growing in prevalence is the use of phrases as positive signifiers in greeting, rather than as questions requesting further information from others.

An example of this is the use of “How are you doing?” and “Hope you have a great day.” How often do you use these phrases or hear them from others? When it is used in those instances, how often is it said in passing?

Another example is when you respond “Thank you” where it isn’t necessary. We make automatic responses in this way as a means to relate positivity and be agreeable in social settings.

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In contrast, negative words are less frequent. But as mentioned earlier, the less frequent a word, the more information it contains. Because negative stimuli can be more detrimental to not register, we are naturally programmed to recognize negative words faster, and they hold our attention for longer.

Compared to positive words, negative words may be less frequent, but they hold our attention longer and convey more information. Here is a visual representation on what the studies have found occurs in language:

Energy Flows where the Mind Goes

Based on these findings, an interesting point is highlighted about language. If language is how we process and internalize our experiences and negative stimuli receive more attention, then is it possible it may lead to us lingering on negative thoughts as well?

Our brains may be programmed to receive and process negative stimuli faster and for longer, but that does not mean we have to express ourselves in the same way. None of the studies show a trend toward people using more negative words after initial exposure.

In fact, the positive bias shows how we prefer positivity and aim to incorporate it, at the very least, as a means of social survival. However, giving the image of positivity is not the same as giving positivity itself.

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Linguistically, positive words and phrases like the examples given above may change to empty phrases to signal positivity when socializing, but we can still maintain intent behind our words. In the end, language is a tool of our expression. Our brains are programmed to view and handle words in a certain way, but we have the power to redirect our thought process.

Language Choice is Life Choice

Our programming leads us to process words in a certain way, but we still choose the words that we use. By becoming self aware of how we use language, and what each word’s connotation is we can make adjustments for ourselves and our mental processes.

Mindfulness of Language

Be more aware of the words you use, because you are what you think. Some ways you can become more aware of the language you use include:

Review old posts on social media

Looking through old posts can help highlight your mindset on life from that time with a fresh perspective. Look for patterns in the language you used that you want to exemplify or modify going forward.

Journaling

Keeping a journal is a great way to keep a record of how you express yourself currently, and how it evolves over time. Return to review older posts from time to time. This will help you have a fresh perspective on the entries you made and the way you chose to express yourself at that time.

Have Positive Intentions

Human expression includes a leaning to be positive in relating to others already, but we should also aim to mean it at the same time. Instead of using common positive phrases for politeness alone, use them with the intention of sharing a positive experience with another.

Whether it is a simple hello and wishing them a good day and meaning it, or engaging them with the intention to make their day a little more positive than before passing by you…aim to change your impact on others by taking control of each social interaction you have.

We may be programmed to process words a certain way based on their emotional content, but that doesn’t mean it has to control our lives. Processing word frequency and information is not the same as your thought process and your overall takeaway from the message. You get to make the choice how you want to use language to relate to yourself and others. Your life sentence is your own.

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