This post is part of a series focused on breaking down the language we use in order to help us build the life we want. Language can both reveal and direct mindset and we can take control of our life by choosing words that will positively impact our thoughts, mindset, and perspective on life. Check out more posts from the Metaphor & Mindset series here!
Language shapes our reality, so what does that say about our figurative language? Metaphors can reveal a lot about the way we think. In today’s musings:
Battle of Egos
Competitions based on pride.
The ego. Our individual identity that sets us apart from everyone and everything else. I like to view it as our default setting for survival. It’s how we define ourselves to know where we fit into this big, massive world. It’s making sense of the limitations of our human life while still developing cognitively and spiritually.
For all of the good it does, there is a balance that is still needed. When we take our ego too far, we can become egotistical and prideful.
Okay, time to be honest. Raise your hand if you have ever gotten caught up in defending your ego…*Raises hand*
We’ve all done it. More often than not, we’ve all done it quite a bit. But that’s okay! It’s a part of growing, and there are ways to become more secure in ourselves and stop the battling.
Ego over Soul
Oftentimes, the battle of egos we participate in are to control the image others have of us. We replace our actual Self with the perceived self, represented in our ego.
Think of all the ways you put your ego first. We…
- Go to parties we don’t want to attend to be seen as fun rather than a hermit;
- Make jokes at another’s expense because that makes us cool and witty;
- Gossip about others and chase the drama, looking for some tea to sip;
- Compare ourselves to others, finding ways that we are better off than them;
- Work hard for that promotion we don’t really want;
- and so many more ways…
The list goes on for the various things we do for our ego. In our effort to “win” at life, we partake in these little battles. Whether it’s facing off against another person, or our perceived sense of an opponent, we go in guns blazing. Instead of viewing activities with others as opportunities to connect, they become opportunities to come out on top.
There are many ways to battle it out. It’s so easy that all we need is to enter the ring of our choosing. We can battle it out anytime, anywhere, but there is a primary battleground many have in common…let’s call it the battle royale of all ego matches.
Recommended: How to Find Your Self
Entering the Ring
With over a billion participants, social media has become the largest battleground for our egos. Our posts on various platforms contain images and captions about an amazing vacation, new promotion, or other life updates. Social Media is the battleground, and your posts are your weaponry.
We compare posts, likes, shares, and think of how to get more followers. We look for our win: the acknowledgement from both people we know and strangers that we’re pretty darn great. It’s seeking that recognition that we did it — we’ve validated our ego.
Even outside of social media, we end up in these competitions with others. All of it can be boiled down to what the real win is: control over how we are perceived.
We put our time and attention towards all of this, fighting what we see as an enemy. But who is this enemy? Is it really that one kid from high school who pops up in your feed from time to time that you compare yourself to?
Oftentimes, we’re not battling anyone directly — our real opponent is the one we’ve created in our heads. We are battling our own perception of the “other.” Wouldn’t it be great if instead we put that energy towards our overall wellbeing?
Choosing your battle
In clinging to our need for control, we enter the ring to fight it out but end up the loser no matter the outcome. The more you cling to your perceived control over the opinions others have of you, you miss out on the opportunity to actually take control — by making the choice to accept yourself regardless of what others think. Clinging to the ego keeps you from embracing all other aspects of your person, including your true Self, your soul.
Recommended: 12 Ways to Improve Self-Awareness
Choose battles worth fighting, where you can actually make ground. Decide to put your Self first, not your perceived Self image. Bring it back to basics if you need to, but make the choice to focus on yourself. Re-learn what makes you feel complete and don’t ever let go.
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Metaphor & Mindset #1: A Laugh in a Sea of Sadness