Fake it ’til you make it. We’ve all heard it, we’ve all said it. Now, let’s better understand what exactly we’ve been saying…and potentially internalizing in the process.

The dictionary definition of this idiom is to act like you know what you’re doing, until you’ve actually become confident doing it.

The idea behind this technique is to create a placebo effect within your mind in order to trick yourself into succeeding. It’s that push out the door people talk about needing to chase their dreams.

You fake it until you make it, but this phrasing both undermines the importance of self-awareness and acceptance, and creates a fallacy in how growth is achieved.

 

 

Fake It, So You Don’t Have to Face It

Have you ever had a piñata at your party? You got to see it strung up, knowing what it looked like and that you would get prizes by hitting it. Then when it is your turn you have a blindfold put on, you’re spun around and then told to swing away without knowing when or where you’ll hit it.

This is essentially what we do when chasing our goals blindly. We know what we want, the general shape it takes, and the reward we get once it’s achieved, but without acknowledging and accepting where we are starting from we’re no better off than if we’re blindfolded, stumbling around a room swinging away hoping to make contact with what we want.

Chase your dreams and goals with intention and understanding. You need to know your starting point in order to reach your destination.

“Faking it” implies that where you are currently at is not acceptable, hence the need to pretend to be something else. It is not accepting you as you currently are, and instead saying that you should already be at the next step.

Recommended: Negativity & Language: How Your Words Are Creating Your Life Sentence

It also undermines your current position and adds extra pressure to be something else, making what you truly want to become appear even more unattainable simply because you haven’t taken the time to understand where you’re starting from, and how much effort it will actually take.

When things get overwhelming, plot out the path you need to take to get from start to finish, then split it into small steps that you can tackle and follow one at a time.

Don’t let the fear of not being at your goal already keep you from heading towards it. You are more capable of achieving what you seek when you rise above the wall of fear and have a positive outlook on your possibilities.

Recommended: Overcoming Perfectionism: The Truth No One Tells You

 

Having Your Eyes, But Not Your Hands, On The Prize

Fake it ’til you make it also fails to recognize what actually needs to happen to achieve your goals. At the root, the problem with this phrase is that it gives you a crutch, which I like to call the Faking to Making Fallacy, and is outlined in the infographic below.

The phrase creates a mental map of what it takes to succeed: Faking it. What it fails to recognize, is that there is much more time and effort that must go into what you want in order to achieve anything.

Focusing solely on faking it paints a pretty picture of you having what you don’t already possess, but it does not yield change in and of itself to make that picture a reality. Without introducing change into the existing equation, you avoid the catalyst that is often needed in the beginning to get you going on your path towards achievement.

Recommended: Self-Acceptance: Seeing the Strength in Your Flaws

The growth required to achieve your goals and dreams comes from conscious effort and is like building a skill. In order to actually succeed and make it, you need to face your hold ups. You can’t just act like they aren’t there and pretend them away. They will still be there until you consciously choose to move them out of your view.

Live with purpose and own your life, because only then will you make it.

Recognize and acknowledge where you currently are and the actual work that needs to be done to achieve what you want, then go for it.

People often get caught up in not being where they should be, but the truth of the matter is that everyone starts somewhere and you are exactly where you “should” be based on the choices you’ve made in your life up to this point.

Dare to be different, and change your circumstances by changing your mindset on it. Only from doing that will you get where you never thought you could go before.

Recommended: How To Let Go Based On Your Sensory Learning Style

 

 

Own It to Make It

Take a moment to calm yourself and find peace, then look internally and be open to what you find. Be patient and forgiving with yourself as you reflect on where you currently are. I know it’s hard for me to realize when I’m not where I thought I was or not doing what I think I should be doing, but without getting real, we’ll just keep pretending and faking it, and in the process keep failing ourselves.

This is where I would propose choosing an updated word choice: Accepting and Owning, rather than Faking it. Bring awareness back to your present, find your footing on the foundation of your own creation, and then jump off from there to attain whatever you are after.

Own it, live it, grow it, and make it. You’ve got this.

 

Read More Posts Like This: 

Negativity & Language: How Your Words Are Creating Your Life Sentence

Overcoming Perfectionism: The Truth No One Tells You

Self-Acceptance: Seeing the Strength in Your Flaws

How To Let Go Based On Your Sensory Learning Style

When Being Considerate is a Bad Thing

How Bottling Emotions Affects Your Memory

“I’m Impressed” – When Your Praise Is Actually A Judgment